Last night I had a little meltdown, and it wasn't pretty. As the evening came to an end I climbed into bed and flipped on the TV. The Time Traveler's Wife was almost finished, and since I love that movie I decided to finish watching it... even though it always makes me cry.
The movie came to the part when he zaps back into the living room dying, Rachel McAdams runs to his side and holds him. They tell each other they love each other unconditionally, they kiss (he is bleeding) he takes his last three breaths and dies. Rachel McAdams is devastated, next it shows her with her daughter as the years pass by. By this point in the movie I have tears on the rims of my eyes, but what happens next does me in.



The Time Traveler reappears in the field and visits Rachel. He only stays for a few moments before he vanishes.

She says to him "Why didn't you tell me you would come back?"
He answers "I didn't want you to spend your life waiting."

And then this is when the meltdown happened. I cried, and once I started I couldn't stop. Twenty minutes later after sobbing heavily I realized it wasn't the movie that had me so sad. It was the weight of the day.

(Insert Flash back)
Yesterday in the wee hours of the morning I was called to the Hospital to take pictures of an infant who died of complications. The mother and father were alone in the room. In the hospital incubator was a perfect baby. The child was beautiful, it was painful to see such an amazing little baby gone. After pictures, I left the hospital and said a prayer on my way home for the parents.
(exit Flashback)

It wasn't until I watched the movie and the gravity of a loved one dying hit me. In the movie she got a second chance to see him...In real life it isn't that way. It isn't fair and we don't understand why it happens. After my sobbing subsided I went into my children's room and watched them sleep. Sometimes my sessions for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep are more difficult than others. This was a tough one, if there is ever a time you appreciate all that you have been given by having children, it is when you volunteer for this organization.

Melissa